Seven Powerful Steps to Increase Self-Confidence – Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD
07/05

1.) Ask yourself, “What would be the worst outcome?” We tend to place excess importance on potential problems—a.k.a. Worrying ahead syndrome. We have an infinite amount of energy so let’s apply it to creating extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don’t. Then invest your energy wisely.

2.) When doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it in the past. Close your eyes, then, vividly imagine you succeeding at what you are planning to do for the first time. The mind does NOT know the difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.

3.) Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don’t have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.

4.) Act “As-if.” Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you desire. If you were confident, How would you be feeling? What would you be doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself—self-talk? By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting “As-if” you are confident. As you continue to act “As-If” you will notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within 30 to 45 days you’ll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.

5.) Project yourself into the future and ask if what you’re faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You’re reviewing your life. Is what you’re faced with now even going to pop up? That’s highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.

6.) Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for whatever you want, you can get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that all the people out there want to help you if you only ask? Whether that is true or not in the “real world” does not matter. If you find that belief empowering, I invite you to adopt it as your own.

7.) Disarm the nagging, negative internal voice. That negative internal voice can keep anyone stopped. To disarm the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or simply change the internal voice to Mickey Mouse. Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse seriously if he were criticizing you? Change the voice to a clown voice. The point is to disarm the inner critic voice by altering the way it nags at you. If you hear your own voice or a critical parent voice nagging you, it will paralyze you. If you hear a clown voice, you laugh and continue onward.