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This anthological book includes such noted authors as: Ken Blanchard, Mark Victor Hansen, Les Brown, Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, et al. Read more...



Feature Article

How To Keep Your Resolutions and Achieve Your Goals - The New Year has begun.  Many people have already broken their New Year’s resolutions.  Surveys reveal that 25% of people will break their New Year’s resolution within the first week of making it.  Are you among the 25%? 

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Healing/Recovery

Yes, healing/recovery is possible. The recovery process requires a multifaceted therapeutic process, facilitated by a professional who is trained in the recovery process. Traditional therapy is ineffective for sexual abuse recovery.

STAGE 1: Victim
Person identifies everything within the context of the abuse, resulting in difficulty functioning in daily life.

  • professional needs to establish a therapeutic foundation with the individual.
  • professional needs to educate and support the individual for the recovery process.
  • Grieving process needs to focus on specific details of the abuse experience.
  • One needs to GO into the Pain to GET OUT of the Pain. The majority of professionals neglect this important recovery process--thinking the person will be 'retraumatized' if done effectively that is not the case.
  • Identification of 'triggers and how to diffuse them.
  • Identify barriers in treatment and how to overcome them.
  • Process Anger/Rage, Sadness, Shame, Guilt.
  • Identify themes in the trauma experience and how it impacts the person's functioning.

STAGE 2: Survivor
Person identifies abuse as past and is functioning moderately, but maintains primary identity with the abuse.

  • professional establishes a foundation for deeper work.
  • Process Anger/Rage, Sadness, Shame, Guilt.
  • Address difficulties with partners and families and develop strategies to deal with them.
  • Identify long-term stress and complicated coping mechanisms--replace coping mechanisms with healthy effective behavior and attitudes. Dispel the chicken or the egg dilemma.
  • Identify and restructure belief system.
  • Prepare for and confront perpetrator(s) and co-perpetrators(s).
  • Therapeutic tools include: Guided imagery, therapeutic journeling, meditation, dream analysis, hypnosis/regression, exercise, dance, music, movement.

STAGE 3: Thriver
Person no longer primarily identifies with the abuse and abuse is integrated with the remainder of personal history resulting in healthy functioning.

  • professional establishes foundation for the thriver stage.
  • Individual developes healthy strategies for living life, able to deal with life's issues with ease.
  • Individual lets go of sexual abuse identity and forgives perpetrator(s) and co-perpetrators(s).
  • Individual developes strategies to deal with some 'flare ups' of old behavior patterns.
  • Individual integrates the trauma with other life experiences--able to talk with ease about the experience of sexual abuse and by whom.

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Thoughts to Ponder

When you know that what you're doing is right, nothing will be able to stop you. When you are absolutely convinced of the true value of your efforts, you'll have the courage and the persistence to see them through. To believe in what you're doing is not just important. It is everything.

Anything less cannot possibly succeed. For any accomplishments you reach while living a lie will ultimately be of no value.

It is not always easy to live true to your highest values, true to your authentic self, true to what you know is right. Yet it is always your best choice.

When you deny what you know is right in order to follow the expediency of the moment, the benefits you gain are trivial and fleeting. Choose instead to live each moment true to the highest values you know.

Then, who you become will be the fulfillment of who you truly are. Why would you ever want to be anything less? —Ralph Marston

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